Fuck You, Phil Fulmer!

The picture says it all.

You sir, are a bitter piece of crap!

When Lane Kiffin decided to leave the most overrated program in the SEC, Tennessee, you got your rotted old ass on a radio station and basically pissed down your leg. Yeah, everyone wanted to hear what the Volunteers' former coach had to say.

And there you were, saying Lane could "go to hell". Fuck you. Nobody outside of TN cares what you have to say, ass-suck. You wouldn't have done shit during your career had Peyton Manning not won you a national title.

But....before your suggestion for Lane's future travel plans, you had already gone one hundred steps too far. You had the audacity to insult Monte Kiffin, Lane's father, and former long-time Tampa Bay defensive coordinator.

Where do you get off basically saying that Monte is senile? You fucking worthless pile of shit. That man's forgotten more about football than you will ever know.

And TN lured away their own head coach tonight. Derrik Dooley (yes, son of longtime University of Georgia coach and athletic director Vince) from Louisiana Tech.

Oh, poor Volunqueer nation! You hated Lane Kiffin the minute he arrived. You rioted like the white-trash you are when he left. Then you said he sucked anyway. Well, if he sucked, why were you so pissed? Huh?

Hmmmmmm......took over a shitty team.....almost upset Alabama. Played Florida tough. Brought you a 7 and 6 season (which Phil Fuckbag Fulmer wouldn't have done). Left you with the sixth-rated recruiting class. Yeah, thing is, you know you had a good coach. He left for a relevant program, USC. Too fucking bad you people aren't relevant.

And too fucking bad you couldn't even get Duke's coach to take your overrated coaching job. Too fucking bad Will Muschamp, Texas' defensive coordinator, said "No thanks."

Too bad you had to hire a guy with a 17-20 record the last three years from Louisiana Tech. Wow. Really prestigious job you were offering, huh? Those fish weren't exactly jumping in the boat, huh?

Maybe Derrick can call Vince for some advice if he needs it. But he'd better check with Phil Fuckass first to see if Vince is senile.

After all, nobody's more of an expert in senility than Phil Fulmer. Just listen to him.

“Erik is our quarterback right now, but we have two quarterbacks.”

Wow. Brilliant. You mean to say that Erik (Ainge) is your starting QB, genius? Or were you trying to demonstrate that contrary to popular opinion, you could count to two?

“I don't know that we have been as dynamic offensively as I thought we would to this point.”

Fulshit explaining how his offensive sucked dick.

“We've bent over backward to do everything that we can to make this happen, ... including going down the day of the game.”

Actually, Tennessee went down quite a bit in their games. To defeat, that is.

“We will not put our athletes at risk at all.”

Phil explaining why he banned hookers from the weight room.

"I know how much better it is on everybody when you can rush the football."

Wow. No shit? Cars work better with engines too, just in case you didn't know.

"Neither one of them are Jason Allen, but injuries happen, and as you go through the year, you find new guys."

Phil demonstrating that he can actually tell some of his players apart.

"He answered it about like I thought he'd answer it."

Phil explaining how he handled recruits telling him to fuck off and that they were going to the University of Florida.

"We think they can both win for us, and that's the way we'll go until we see otherwise."

Fulmer demonstrating that when a team says it has two good quarterbacks, in reality, it doesn't have one good QB at all.

“Getting done what he got done, coming back here to win this football game at a place where he had been, I don't know if there is a better story in the world than what this guy has done.”

You mean, aside from your ass getting fired?

“I am so thrilled with this win. I can't tell you how proud I am of this football team and this staff, and the fight they had. There was absolutely no panic at halftime.”

That's cuz the team was listening to the defensive and offensive coordinators and not their head coach.

“So it's like Auburn and Georgia last year. That's the exact kind of performance we're going to need and we're going to look for.”

Phil apparently forgetting what university he actually used to coach at.

“He's going to be out some time, probably the remainder of the year. I don't know that, but that's what I'm assuming.”

Phil not realizing that a simple "I don't know," would suffice.

"I'm embarrassed about it."

Phil explaining his reaction to his adult diapers sticking out of his pants.

"That's why we have instant replay--to get the call right."

Phil demonstrating an amazing command of the fucking obvious.

"I was really happy, and I'm almost hesitant to say this, because every time I brag on him, he goes the other way, but Jon Wade played really impressive (Monday) night."

Phil either outing himself as a bisexual, or pumping up his player by accusing him of choking every time he pays him a compliment.

"This is no reflection on Rick Clausen, but I believe the timing will be better with one quarterback. Settling on one quarterback will help as much as anything."

Phil discovering, after decades of coaching, a fundamental rule of football that kids in high school know.

"We need to play a little bit better against the good people."

Wow. I mean....the insight required to make this statement......

"If I could sprinkle magic dust on it, heck, I'd fix it."

Phil getting a little too personal for everybody's taste.

"What do we do with this?"

Phil on his wedding night.

"I don't recall saying anything.....I just gave him a big hug."

Barney was grateful.

"Unacceptable. It starts with me, goes through the staff and then through the players and everybody associated with Tennessee football."

Phil explaining the mysterious outbreak of gonorrhea during the 2002 season.

"You can't blame this on one person. Everybody wants to say it's this person or that person. It's a combination of a lot of things and some you can fix hopefully in the short term and some of it may take longer to fix."

Phil simultaneously avoiding blame, spreading blame, and explaining that he'll need extra time to fix the things that he's to blame for.

"I don't know that we've done justice as to where we're going, but with what we've got, we've done the best that we can."

Phil basically saying his players are shit and all of the losses aren't his fault.

"We've been very unfortunate during the course of the year to not have anything good happen to us offensively."

Phil demonstrating his aggressive, take-charge approach to his team's offense.

"This has been a very difficult season for everyone, especially Randy."

I don't know who Randy is, but his ass just got thrown under the bus.

"Some of that is coming with experience. He's one of those guys who wants to try to make a play. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We want to use the system for what it is. There's nothing wrong with the system. It's always worked well in the past."

Phil throwing a player under the bus while demonstrating zero ability to adapt to the changes taking place in college football.

"Randy, in an unselfish gesture, has asked to step aside at the end of the season."

After Randy crawled out from under that bus, Good Ol' Phil told him he could quit or be fired.

"It was good we had an extra week of practice. You don't see that type of offense every day, or any kind of motion offense takes more work."

Yeah, the forward pass has confused many great minds.

"I'm going to defer to not answering that right now. It's a good question."

Apparently Phil preferred to answer bad questions.

"I can't concern myself with that."

Phil making reference to the fact that he hasn't recruited a quality QB since Peyton Manning.

"We've got some real challenges ahead. Obviously they start with Notre Dame."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, Notre Dame's really badass! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"I was miserable during Christmas. I haven't had that as a head coach. I probably made everybody around me miserable."

Phil in a rare, insightful moment.

"It's obvious that we really underachieved on offense last season. And everybody contributed, including me."

Uh, if your offense underachieved.....then wouldn't that mean that everybody wasn't contributing?

"It's very difficult to argue with the folks who think we have a chance to be good."

Phil showing tremendous humility.

"We were the youngest defense in the conference at the beginning of the year."

So....did you master time travel and become the oldest defense by the end of the year?

"We've gotten our hands on more balls this two-a-day than I can remember in some time."

Um, okay.

"They split the reps (in practice). We have two quarterbacks. Whoever runs out first will be first."

Phil demonstrating the "last one in is a rotten egg" approach to his practices.

"Florida did a good job of doing what they needed to get done."

I have no doubt that what Florida got done was kicking his team's ass.

"I'm concerned about this weather that's apparently coming in, but that's not something we can do anything about today."

I guess Phil could only control the weather on certain days.

Yeah, if that sniveling bastard Phil Fulmer knows anything, it's about being fucking senile.

Kiss my ass, Fulmer, you fucking cunt. What's your email, you piece of shit? I wanna chat.

I Hate To Say I Told You So....

Sorry my lovelies. There's not much to cheer about in Tampa. But cum up to GA and Buccaneer Lori will console you!

But I told you so....

DA's stats from Sunday's Browns/Bengals game:

26 for 48 for 269 yards, one touchdown pass, one rushing touchdown, and one interception. 10.3 yards per completion.

Quinn's stats for the first three games of the season:

45 for 74 for 400 yards, one touchdown pass (in garbage time against Minnesota), and three interceptions. Oh, and three fumbles. 8.8 yards per completion. It's pretty clear to see at this point that DA clearly can move the ball downfield whereas Quinn cannot. His game is dinking and dunking. Shit, Dilfer could do that.

I'm joking. Dilfer couldn't do anything. Aside from sucking.

Anyway, do the fucking math, Quinn cultists.

To be honest, I've been pretty hard on Browns fans in the past, and for the most part, some deserved it. They did boo DA when he blew out his knee. They did raise an overrated college quarterback to near mythical status, even before he threw one NFL pass.

But looking back, I think Browns Nation has been suffering from an infection. And this infection turned a quarterback debate into a raging case of Quinnitis. And where did this infection come from?

"Charlie Weiss is aftur me pot o' gold! Jimmy Clausen gives me a stiffie! Brady gets me little shamrock stiff!"

That's right! Notre Dame fans. After their boyfriend was drafted by Cleveland in 2007, it's amazing how many of these people became Browns fans!

Of course, they didn't give a shit about Cleveland. Cleveland just happened to be the team with the misfortune of buying into Quinn's greatness . And boy, these people shit on DA like crazy. It didn't matter that DA was passing for over 3,500 yards and leading the team to 10 wins. No, he was a pile of shit and Quinn HAD to be inserted immediately!

So DA started some last year, and later in the season was replaced by Quinn, who made the Quinninites giddy with a decent performace against a Bronco defense that was so weak I could've run for 500 yards and passed for a thousand.

Then Quinn got hurt. DA replaced him and got hurt (much to the delight of the sickass Quinn Circle Jerk Club). Then Ken Dorsey went down and was replaced by Bruce Gradowski. In other words.....the last six or so games were pretty much lost before they were even started.

So this offseason, Quinn beat DA--yeah right--in the QB competition. Quinn strokers got what they wanted: their beloved Quinn would show himself to be the savior this franchise needed.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSS!

Yeah, Quinn can't pass. Every knock on him coming out of college came to light. And man, he held onto the ball longer than old Charlie Frye used to!

Now they're screaming to "give BQ a chance". Oh? Like the chance you never gave to DA, as you were spending the 2007 season insulting him? Or in 2008, when you celebrated as he squirmed on the cold ground in pain? Or when you disparaged and dismissed his selection to the Pro Bowl after the 2007 season?

No, sorry. No double standards allowed. Not even for Bitchin' Brady Quinn. Or you hypocritical assholes.

Sorry, this is Dreamboat's third season in the league and he still can't make deep reads. He's been given his chance and showed jackshit. Now he sits again. The offense did nothing under Quinn except bog down. The minute DA came in, you could see the offense open and loosen opposing defenses.

Of course, the Quinn posse isn't done shitting on DA. They're even more pissed now. Tough shit.

I'm not saying that real Browns fans aren't guilty of the Quinn-stroking. Not at all. But the infection that came from Norte Dame assholes that couldn't let Quinn leave their pathetic, loser lives made the problem so much worse.

He is the wind.........beneath their wingggggggggsssssss..............

Browns nation, DA is your antibiotic to the fuckhead infection you've been suffering from.

I really feel sorry for whatever team drafts current ND QB/Douchebag Jimmy Clausen. Because when it happens, that team will have a huge increase in loud, stupid, obnoxious "fans".

And they'll be as convinced of Clausen's greatness as they have been of Quinn's.

Quinn cultists, feel free to support your noodle-armed hero as he settles into his ultimate NFL destiny: back up quarterback.

Real Browns fans, I apologize. I made a mistake. I ripped you guys way too hard. Some of you deserved it, but I just hadn't made the diagnosis that you were infected by ND swine flu.

Now shut the fuck up and get behind DA and let HIM develop. If you show some patience, he might just develop into a pretty good QB. And best of all, that nasty ND infection will clear up. And when that does, the actual Browns fans who still believe in Brady will eventually come to see the light and give up the vigil.

Or not. After all, an obsession is an obsession, right? And there's no cure for herpes, either. But like with any other STD, the best cure is prevention. So always wear rubbers and never draft an Notre Dame QB.

**************************************

Speaking of infections (and swine), Braylon Edwards is gone. Addition by subtraction.

More proof that no matter what the geniuses at ESPN say, Mangini and Kokinis know their shit.

In case you hadn't heard, Edwards got into an altercation with a friend of LeBron James on Monday morning and beat him up. All 130 pounds of him. What a big, tough guy Edwards is.

Of course, some Browns fans are missing the point, but 90 percent or so get how great this move is. Mangini traded Edwards to the Jets for 2010 3rd and 5th round picks, a wide receiver (with better stats than Edwards this season), and a special teams standout.

Edwards sucks more cock than I did on Frat Boy Booze Weekend (I made that up, of course).

Since he was drafted in 2004, he's been a self-centered, inconsistent, immature narcissist. Shit, he was flat-out pissed that Miami didn't take him. No, Savage did, of course.

Edwards has always craved the big-city lights of Miami, New York, and Dallas. You see, he's a star and should be showcased accordingly. Just ask him.

Now to his credit, Edwards blew the top off Cleveland Browns Stadium in 2007. He and DA combined for 16 touchdown passes and Edwards hauled in over 1,000 passing yards.

Over course, that was his one good season. The rest of the time, he's a ball-dropping machine. Last Sunday, in the Browns' best effort of the season, BE dropped a ball delivered right to his hands. And that's how he spent last season: dropping balls. Athletic as can be, as inconsistent as can be. In the second Ravens/Browns game last season, he dropped more balls than a hooker with Vaseline on her lips.

He's been a locker room cancer. He undermined Romeo Crennel. Braylon's always wanted what he wants, and feels that's more important than the team. He's your typical diva wide receiver.

Me, me, me, me and, of course, me.

Good luck in New York, you overrated bitch. I'm just glad Rah-Suck Morris didn't want to give Mangini five first round draft picks for him.

I'm still vomiting over the Kellen Winslow trade.

****************************************

So, how's the Morris regime doing in Tampa?

Oh yeah. 0 and 4.

I can hear you now: "BL, you consistently suck up to Mangini and Kokinis....yet insult and complain about Morris and Mark Dominik. Both teams are winless! Oh, and you have one insanely hot ass. So what gives?"

Uh, there's a difference between the two situations. ManKok inherited a team devestated by four years of shitty, self-indulgent drafting and free agent signings by "GM" Phil Savage. Savage consistently drafted players Romeo Crennel couldn't use and overspent on free agents that weren't worth it. And most of those players are gone now. ManKok inherited a shipwreck and has to start from scratch.

Morris and Dummynik, on the other hand, inherited a well-stocked team that was well under the salary cap. They inherited a team that was consistently in contention for the playoffs.

And they gutted it.

Then they traded for Kellen Winslow, so he could spend the last couple of years collecting his workman's comp checks from the Glazers. He's a nothing. Always has been, always will be.

And did I say that getting Byron Leftwich was a smart move in my last entry? Well, even I can be wrong (rare as it is). Now we have Josh Johnson starting at QB. And we're grooming Josh Freeman as our QB of the future. Gah-BARF!

Yeah, getting rid of Gruden and Allen was brilliant!

************************************

Here's a little present for you Quinn bitches!

Quinn shows his blowing technique.


Quinn shows....uh.....



"Hello? Is this the Academy for Overrated Quarterbacks?"

Hey, don't fumble THAT ball, BQ!

Hope you didn't run out of Kleenex, Quinnies! Whoa!

Browns Fans, Bucs Fans....You Happy Now?

"I suck."

Buccaneer Lori is here, and it's time to swallow your medicine, you sniveling, spoiled brats! You got what you wanted, both of you fanbases! Let's deal with the Bucs "fans" first.

Yeah, you good folks, have a seat. Sit down, shut up, and listen up. Browns fans, go to the back of the room. I've supplied a huge picture of Brady Quinn, several tubes of Astroglide and several boxes of Kleenex.

You all wanted Gruden gone, huh, Bucs fans? You wanted a guy who brought a Super Bowl to Tampa gone. Yeah, he had a bad losing streak that kept our team out of the playoffs last year. But our team was consistently a contender, and a lot of fans in a lot of other cities (Kansas City, Detroit, and Oakland, just to name a few) would give just about anything to be a contender every season.

So all's well now that Gruden and Bruce Allen are gone, right?

Uh......maybe not.

First, an overrated Dallas team smacked the Bucs around. Then, Sunday, the Buffalo Bills bent the Bucs over and kicked their asses. And it it gonna get any better this year.

Should you all be shocked? Your new boyfriends, Raheem "The Bad Dream" Morris and Mark Dominik, your super-awesome upgrade over Bruce Allen, took a giant douche and shot it right in the team's face. Gone was, among many notable defensive stalwarts, Derrick Brooks.

And on Monday, when Raheem was asked if he was concerned about the team's defensive problems getting out of control, he responded that they already WERE out of control. Wow. At least the young "genius" is candid.

Fucking great. This from a d-backs coach turned d-coordinator-named head coach in less than a month. Fucking great. I feel so much better now. A defensive-minded head coach.....is admitting that under his watch, the defensive problems are mounting.

I bet all of you guys drank that Kool-Aid when the 32 year-old (or however old is isn't) got the job. How DID Raheem get that job to begin with? Because he was being asked to interview for head coaching jobs with other teams? Because he was standing around the hall? Because he happened to be home when the Glazer Fucks called?

Nice draft, by the way. Josh Freeman. Wow. Does it concern any of you that Raheem knew Josh when he was coaching at Kansas State? These personal coach-player relationships destroy objectivity.

Remember, Phil "I Sucked As A GM" Savage tried to trade up to get JaMarcus Russell a few drafts ago. JaBustus just happened to have attended several of Savage's football camps growing up.

Huh. What kind of football camp would a horrible GM like Savage run? How to overspend on shitty wide receivers like Donte' Stallworthless? How to trade away future draft picks on players that will end up on the practice squad? How to draft players that'll end up out of the league in two years? How to bask in Ozzie Newsome's spotlight when he drafts pro-bowlers year after year? How to run to any microphone you see like Starving Alpo Dog Trent Dilfer?

Oh, speaking of Savage, remember in the 2008 draft how dingus traded away the team's 2009 third rounder to draft a tight end named Martin Rucker in the fourth round? Yeah, the Browns just released Rucker. Good job, Phil!

Want another one?

In the same draft--2008--Savage traded away a 2009 fifth round pick so he draft some project wide receiver named Paul Hubbard in the sixth round. Hubbard--who probably wouldn't have been drafted at all and could've been signed as an undrafted free agent later on--was put on the practice squad and has been released. How about yet another?

Same draft. Phil had traded away the first three picks (the first for Quinn in the 2007 draft, the second for a player named Corey Williams who didn't fit the Browns' 3-4 defense, and the third for Shaun Rogers, one of his few smart moves) in the draft.

So the Browns were set. They'd start drafting in the fourth. So I'm watching the draft with boyfriend and he groaned.

"What?"
"I just know that the idiot's going to fuck up."

Didn't take long. The fourth round started and Savage traded up in the fourth. He gave up a 2008 fifth rounder to swap up in the fourth round. There was this awesome linebacker named Beau Bell he wanted. Bell barely played last year and has since been released.

Anyway, now that we've finished Phil Savage's Guide To Drafting Like A Shithead, back to Freeman.

Every draft, due to the supply and demand regarding teams' needs and such, two or three QBs float up to the first round.

Take 2005, when Aaron Rogers and Alex Smith were the top dudes at QB. One has succeeded wildly (Rogers), while the other, well, didn't (Smith). In a logical world, Rogers clearly had superior credentials to Smith. He played in a pro-style offense in a tougher conference, whereas Smith played almost exclusively from the shotgun in college. When the 49'ers--who had the top pick and thus could negotiate before the actual draft with different players) reached an agreement with Smith, they selected him.

And the repercussions were felt a few years later when Green Bay had the legit QB from that draft.

So back to this year's draft. The perfect storm was set. Raheem knew Freeman. The supply and demand of the position inflated Freeman's worth and all of a sudden, the Bucs had themselves their QB of the future.

Sure, they had to trade away a sixth rounder to the Browns to swap spots in the first round, but hey, it's Raheem's boyfriend, so it was worth it.

Anybody with half a brain would've drafted Beanie Wells, Rey Maualuga, or somebody else who could actually help team team. You don't take a QB project in the first round. What, did Raheem think he and Josh would nail some coeds together?

And you couldn't address needs in the second round. You sent THAT pick to Cleveland for an overrated, broken down douche bag named Kellen Winslow, he of such class that he spat on his own general manager after a game last season. Pig. I may not like Savage, but spitting on another person is so low class....that only a POS like Winslow would do it.

And spare me the blame on Gaines Adams, 2008's first rounder. Yeah, he's not going to do as well when you rip apart a playoff-calibre defense. Nobody is. But Mr. Player's Coach, Raheem, calls Adams out in the media. Fuck you, Morris. At least he's on the field, unlike Josh Freeman, who's "learning". Yeah. He'll need to learn for a long, long, time.

Hey, here's some quarterbacks that didn't need to spend a few seasons sitting and learning: Sanchez, Matt Ryan, Joe Flacco and Matt Stafford (he'll be good, trust me). Those are QBs you take in the first. Guys like Alex Smith and Raheem's boyfriend you take in the third and hope for the best.

Allen and Gruden wouldn't have torn apart the defense. They were too smart to do something that arrogant and stupid. They wouldn't have sent a second for Winspit. They wouldn't have released our veterans. They sure as fuck wouldn't have drafted Josh Freeman.

Hey, Michael Clayton, your team sucks, Mr. Drop The Ball. You still glad that horrible coach is gone, you overrated, backstabbing butthole-bitch?

Are any of us happy? In one off-season, we degraded the coaching staff, the front office, and the entire roster. We went from a solid playoff contender to a weak team in one fell swoop. It didn't have to happen. By the Glazers' logic, once you have a dent in a nice, working car, you take a sledgehammer to it and get rid of it. Then you take the bus for a few years and save up for a new car.

It's not like we were over the cap. Shit, when they started cutting the heart out of this team, we were well under the cap. Maybe Mr. Asshole Glazer didn't want to pay the players.

Bucs fans, you happy that your Super Bowl winning coach is gone? If you are, then you're getting what you deserve. Fuck that. You're getting what you deserve regardless.

Now get the fuck out of here. I need to speak to another group of morons.

Hi Browns fans! You remember to wash your hands and mop up the wall and ceiling?

Last season, when Derek Anderson was benched, I said, "Benching Derek isn't fair, isn't smart, and won't make the team better."

Right again I am, I am! I'm immune to Brady Quinn cult spam!

Congrats. You got your man, Brady Quinn, named starting QB. You got what you wanted. You wanted, sniveled, begged, wailed, pants-pissed, tantrumed, shat, cried, whined, bitched, screamed for, pouted, and prayed for this. You jeered Derek Anderson when he blew out his knee last year. You hated him, and you wanted everyone to know that.

How's that working out for you? How's Quinn doing?

Not well. Not well at all. And you Quinn jackers can spare me the "he's a rookie crap". He's NOT a rookie. This is his third season. Mark Sanchez is already 100 times the QB Quinn is and he IS a rookie.

And spare me the "Sanchez is on a better team" shit. You didn't offer DA that excuse. Well, Detroit doesn't have all that much talent, but Matt Stafford's out there slinging the rock.

Quinn can't make deep reads. He fumbles. He's throws interceptions. 90 percent of the time, he checks down and dumps off the pass to the tight end or running back. His passes flutter. His release is in slow motion (he makes Byron Leftwich, the one good thing Morris has done, look fast)--that is, when he's not just holding the ball and waiting for someone to be ten yards clear of the nearest defender.

"No no no no....he's only five yards off you! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

DA has always had a fast release. That discourages blitzing and stacking the box. Defenses don't like getting burned by a fast release hitting the hot receiver.

Another thing: DA hits the receivers in stride. Quinn looks like he needs a stationary target. But hey, Braylon Edwards doing the splits to catch a pass is fucking awesome. It's just like college football: throw to the man, not the spot where the man's supposed to be.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure his mechanics are much better than Anderson's, right? LMAO Yeah, those great mechanics led Quinn to have three passes in a row deflected against Denver. One hit a Denver lineman in the facemask! Now that's a deflection!

ROFLMAO GREAT MECHANICS THERE!

Yeah, that'll get it done!

BQ even dumps off in garbage time. Against Denver, with a minute or so left and the game already lost, BQ was still dumping off passes to his running back. Shit, chuck the fucking ball down the field. Game's over anyway, so who cares?

Of course, it didn't get it done against an average (at best) Denver defense. It didn't get it done against the Vikings (an admittedly better defense). It sure as fuck won't get it done Sunday against Baltimore (bring your diapers, Quinn).

Here's another good one: he had to split first-team reps with DA, in training camp, so that hindered him. LMAO Yeah, so the second coming of Troy Aikman didn't improve with competition? Yeah, I guess a high calibre QB like BQ needs his fucking hand held or something. If DA was such crap and BQ so good, why did it take so long for him to "win" the job.

Yeah, he won the job. Right. There would've been a riot if Quinn hadn't "won" the job.

And now, some of you Quinn holdouts are screaming that we all must be more patient.

Nope. Not me. Not this pirate chick.

You SHIT all over Derek Anderson. You shit all over him when he was passing for over 3,500 yards and winning 10 games for you underserving creeps. You shit over him last year, even though the whole team's wheels came off. You weren't patient with DA.

It was his fault Braylon Edwards dropped every important pass. It was his fault when Jamal Lewis ran the wrong route in the second Baltimore game and the pass was intercepted. It was his fault that Romeo Crennel's shitty prevent defense couldn't hold any leads.

You weren't preaching patience then, so you don't get to preach it now.

Here's another Quinn excuse that gets me every time: "He has to take what the defense gives him."

ROFLMAO times a million!

DA is streaky, but a QB can either bully the other team's defense or be bullied. Quinn is bullied. DA isn't. DA threw interceptions, for sure, but he also tired out the opposing defense and threw plenty of touchdown passes.

The field shrinks with Quinn; it's stretched with DA.

Browns fans, keep being happy with BQ allowing opposing defenses to set the tone. Because what great defenses (or even decent defenses like Denver's) do is "give" him shitty four-yard dumpoffs. Then they close in more and more. They tighten the noose. They shorten the already short field for Quinn.

Why should a stud defense like Pitt's or Baltimore's respect a QB who "takes what they give him?" Fuck that. Stud defenses laugh at QBs who take what they're given!

Of course you have to complete short passes (admittedly, DA's weakness). But you have to do more than that. Quinn is averaging 5.5 yards per pass attempt this season. That's garbage, I'm sorry.

Drew Brees doesn't "take what they give him." He fucking takes it and says "Fuck off, I want another touchdown." Quinn says, "Yes sir, opposing defense. Thank you for that two-yard gain. May I have another?"

Peyton Manning doesn't "take what they give him." He laughs, hauls his arm back, and hits whatever receiver he fucking wants to hit. Quinn says, "May I pass for four yards now, opposing defense? PLEASE can I have one first down? PLEASE?"

Quinn can't beat you deep. So defenses can stack up against the run and dump off by bringing up their d-backs and close up the box or blitz the dreamboat. But hey, at least he takes what they give him.

Yeah, it's a bitter pill to swallow. Here's some water, losers.

To those of you who now realize that just maybe your idol, Quinn, isn't quite the next Joe Montana, TOUGH SHIT! Too late! Quinn was your boy. Now your asses hurt and you don't know what to do! Better late than never? LMAO Yeah, okay!

TOUGH SHIT!

To those who've always stood by DA, sorry guys......you were right, but that doesn't make you feel better as Quinn dinks and dunks his way to another loss. You were happy when DA won those ten games and wanted to see what he could do if they franchise put it's efforts into his career instead of the Golden Boy's.

But you knew that this preseason's QB competition was bullshit. The entire offense was built around Quinn's "strengths". Actually, to be fair, this offensive scheme that favors ball control and short passes came with Eric Mangini. But the result was the same: Quinn's skills were more tailored to this barfy offense than DA's gunslinging style.

Hey Browns fans.....you're 0 and 2. Your offense can't stay on the field and your defense gets exhausted and eventually breaks. Get used to it. With DA, you were high-octane fun at best and at least exciting at worst. Now you're just boring and irrelevant.

Your pro-bowl QB sits on the bench so you're rave-fave can play. You people are a fucking laughingstock, you know that? Then again, we're not looking that much smarter in Tampa, are we?

At least I get to see my boy-toy Jon every Monday night! Now that's some great television! I love me some Gruden with my Monday Night Football!

Cleveland, Tampa, you got just what you wanted. How's that working out for you?

Misery may love company, but I bet that you're finding out that stupidity does as well.

I don't hate to say I told you so.... So I TOLD YOU SO!

______________________________________________

LMAO

A couple of weeks ago, I read that the moneygrubber suing Big Ben Roethlisberger for rape was willing to drop her suit if he offered her a public apology!

This was all after some incrimnating emails she sent BEFORE the alleged rape were discovered. They dealt with how she was trying not to go up to his room and fuck him.

And they were sent from her company email to a coworker! Unfucking real!

Another one she sent after the supposed rape dealt with how she hoped she was pregnant with Big Ben's child.

Now she's willing to drop the suit for an apology. LMAO Big Ben, don't give her a fucking thing.

Unless that one thing is the finger.

In Ben's Defense

First, read this (copied and pasted from profootballtalk.com) if you haven't heard about the situation with Big Ben.

---------------------------------------------------------

In a complaint that reads like the rape allegations made several years ago against NBA star Kobe Bryant, Harrah's employee Andrea McNulty alleges sexual assault against Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in a lawsuit filed last week in Washoe County, Nevada.

But lawyer David Cornwell strongly denied the allegations Monday night, in a statement released to PFT. "Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone; especially Andrea McNulty," Cornwell said.

In the civil suit, which Cornwell confirms was served on Roethlisberger over the weekend and a copy of which our own Gregg Rosenthal has obtained, McNulty alleges that Roethlisberger asked her to come to his hotel room to fix the television, and that he thereafter forced her to have sex with him.

Roethlisberger faces one civil count of assault, one civil count of sexual assault and battery, one civil count of false imprisonment, one civil count of false pretenses, one civil count of fraud, and one civil count of intentonal infliction of emtional distress.

McNulty also claims that the coworkers named in the complaint thereafter defamed her by making allegedly false and inflammatory statements, and by allegedly serving as aiders and abettors of Roethlisberger's alleged misconduct after the fact.

Cornwell, a finalist for the position of NFLPA Executive Director who has represented in the recent past Saints running back Reggie Bush and Browns receiver Donte' Stallworth, points to the fact that no criminal complaint has been filed, and that no criminal investigation has occurred.

"The timing of the lawsuit and the absence of a criminal complaint and a criminal investigation are the most compelling evidence of the absence of any criminal conduct," Cornwell said. "If an investigation is commenced, Ben will cooperate fully and Ben will be fully exonerated."

It's unknown at this point whether McNulty ever has attempted to file criminal charges as a result of the incident, which allegedly occurred in July 2008.

"Ben will not be baited into a public discussion about his personal life, but we will defend
him vigorously," Cornwell said. "The limited value that Ms. McNulty derived from public disclosure of these viciously false allegations is the only value she will ever receive from Ben in this case."

Regardless of how this one turns out, it has the potential to serve as a significant distraction for Roethlisberger as the 2009 season approaches, especially if the lawsuit triggers a criminal probe.

----------------------------------------------------

Okay....let's see if I'm getting this straight......

According to this money-grubber, she was raped in July 2008 while on a service call at work. And she names several coworkers (two of whom are female) in the complaint as well, claiming that they helped Roethlisberger cover up the crime.

Sheesh. No mention of men in black suits? Nothing about the Illuminati being involved? The mafia wasn't listed? The United Nations (being the worthless POS that it is) wasn't included? Nothing supports a personal injury like a good old fashioned conspiracy.

Oh, and she never filed criminal charges when she claims it happened. Get the fuck out of here, you little bitch.

Seriously, once you pass on filing criminal charges, fuck you. Don't come back and cry rape later when you stand to profit from it. If what happened truly happened, then you have to supply what evidence you can to the police.

Gee, yeah, I know. She was traumatized. And yet she's "untramatized' enough to come back a year later to collect her pound of flesh. NOW she wants to tell her story! NOW she wants to set things straight. NOW she wants to make her voice heard. NOW she wants justice!

No, NOW she wants a payday. And there's a difference between justice and a payday.

Hey, I'm all for legit civil suits. Not all are bullshit. But I'll tell you this: you go through the proper channels. And in situations involving bodily harm, that means you go to the police first, not Larry The Personal Injury Lawyer.

When you take the type of shortcut this "victim" is taking, your motives deserve to be questioned. After a year, where's the physical evidence a rape kit could've provided? It's washed away (had it indeed ever existed).

How convenient. I mean, a year later she's ready to face her "attacker". She's ready to take down Big Ben--when there's money to be made.

Crap like this only makes it harder for real rape victims.

Sorry if you're some psycho man-hater that actually believes every woman who screams rape when money is on the table, but if you are, I have two words for you:

Duke Lacrosse.

Poor Widdle Jay Cutler

BL has a housewarming gift for Jay when he gets to Chicago!

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The NFL's resident poster boy for cwybabees, Jay Cutler, has been traded to the Chicago Bears.

Of course, Tampa was chasing him. You think that would make BL happy, huh? No way. Cutler's an immature little douche. Yeah, I get that he was upset about possibly being traded a month or so ago, but let's examine this a little more closely and show what a liar and hypocrite Jay is.

One, when Mike Shanahan was fired, he whined for a trade. Eventually, that was smoothed over after talking with new coach Josh "I'm Only 32 But A Legend In My Own Mind" McDaniels.

Then news leaked out that McDaniels had the audacity to listen to trade offers for His Highness. What's that, Jay? You think you're like your boyfriend, Brett Favre, and can act like a de facto GM?

So after that horrifying news leaked out, it was done. Jay-Jay wanted a trade. He wouldn't return messages from the coach or the OWNER, Pat Bowlen. He even sacrificed a $100,000 bonus by not taking part in the team's off-season activities.

After the crybaby declined to return over 10 text messages a few days ago, the team said "Fuck off, bitch" and announced that if he wanted a trade, he'd get one.

And then Cutler had the fucking nerve to say that he never asked for a trade! WHAT? Are you serious, little boy? The spoiled brat said that he never expected it "to come to this".

YOU'RE the one who made it "come to this", Cutler. You're the one who embarrassed your team, your coach, your teammates, and your owner. You're the one who disrespected every Bronco fan in the world. And it's everybody else's fault but yours.

How Trent Dilfer of you.

And, of course, teams like Tampa, Washington, Cleveland, etc.... lined up to inquire. Cleveland bowed out when they heard that fuckass wouldn't want to be coached by Mangini.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The rest of the teams bowed out when Chicago offered two first rounders, a third rounder, QB Kyle Orton for crybaby and a fifth rounder.

How's your ass feel, Chi-town? You just got schooled by a rookie head coach and rookie GM. The fans, of course, are deliriously happy right now. And for good reason: Crybaby is really good.

But will the baby be as good with a weakass group of wide receivers to throw to? Will the fans be happy when Cutler demands a new contract in the next day or two that will run around 40 to 50 million at least?

Will the fans be happy whenthey watche Denver draft high-quality starters with all of those draft picks?

Maybe.

Will the fans be happy when Cutler goes diva again if somebody actually criticizes him? Seriously, if he can't work with a strong-willed coach like Mangini or McDaniels, then Lovie Smith better start rubbing his feet the second he arrives for his press conference tomorrow.

Character counts. Sorry. Terrell Owens is a brilliant WR. A sure-fire Hall of Famer. But he's an asshole. He wears out his welcome really fast.

If TO had pulled this shit--and, really, he has in his own way--ESPN and Chi-town journalists would be ripping him a new one. Cutler pulls it and you hear crickets chirping.

But isn't Jay just another TO? One that leaks out info to the media and stays home and sulks? One that refuses to man up and meet his head coach man to man without his douche bag agent, Bus Cook (shockingly, the man who is also Brett the Diva's agent) holding his hand? One that refuses to talk to one of the most respected owners in the league?

He couldn't even do THAT?

I'm glad Tampa didn't get too caught up in this and give away the farm like Chicago. I'm glad Cleveland bowed out.

Cutler's often been called "the next Brett Favre". Well, he's as arrogant, self-centered and petulant as ol' Brett ever was, that's for sure.

Let's see if after a season or two, Chicago fans are lamenting the day they mortaged their future for a disrepectful, arrogant crybaby like "the next Brett Favre".

Don't cry, Denver fans. Winning cures everything, and I think the Broncos will be doing a lot of winning in a couple of seasons.

And Chicago can draft a top receiver for Cutler in....oh....say.....2011.

(Originally posted 4-3-2009)

More On Winslow

More on Winslow....

Bud Shaw is a columnist for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland. His thoughts on the KW trade and why Browns fans should be happy with it (and conversely, why Bucs fans shouldn't be).

Trade of Kellen Winslow can work for Cleveland Browns coming and going -- Bud Shaw Blog

Friday February 27, 2009, 1:20 PM

Bud Shaw weighs in on the Winslow trade from the Indians spring training in Goodyear, Ariz.

First impressions of the Kellen Winslow trade:

The Browns picked up needed draft picks and rid themselves of a diva who was quick to declare himself underpaid and not so willing to take into account the $11 million or so he made his first two damaged-goods seasons in the league.

It's difficult to measure the benefits of the deal on the receiving end without knowing more about the draft picks involved and the smarts of the new GM and head coach in making the most of them.

But parting ways with a tight end who has more character and physical issues than he's worth, who didn't hire agent Drew Rosenhaus for nothing, isn't the kind of loss that sabotages a team.

Eric Mangini is an easy target these days. But he carried out what the last regime had in mind for Winslow, too. If that makes Mangini and George Kokinis wrong, it makes Phil Savage wrong, too.

That's possible, certainly. But here's a thought for all those who admired the "soldier" in Winslow. Maybe he's the problem and not everybody else.

Mangini might use this as a statement about the kind of player he wants as a cornerstone of a rebuilding project while at the same time picking up draft picks the Browns desperately need more than they need Winslow moping around at tight end.

Winslow wants to make up for money lost through his own reckless behavior early in his career, so now he and Rosenhaus can do that somewhere else. It's difficult to imagine him improving much in Tampa even at age 25, given that he's lost a lot physically already.

Winslow made tough catches, spectacular ones, too. No denying that or the intensity he brought to games.

But he didn't bring much of anything to the locker room. He won't be missed off the field. Don't think for a minute that his teammates didn't see through the "victim" role he awarded himself in his dispute with the Browns over the staph infection business.

They knew differently. And some even went to a team official and said as much.
Rosenhaus has the same role in mind for Winslow contract wise. Now they can both take that tired old song to Tampa.

Browns fans, if you don't want Mangini and Kokinis, can WE have them? Holy cow.

(Originally posted 2-28-2009)

BA Wants DA NOW!

Anderson Trade A Possibility For BucsPosted By Roy Cummings at Feb 19, 2009 at 12:12 PMUpdated Feb 19, 2009 at 12:13 PM

INDIANAPOLIS – A lot of the talk here at the combine is centering around the Bucs and their quarterback position.Few believe the Bucs are ready to just hand the starter’s job to Luke McCown, so the question is, who they will bring in to challenge McCown for the starter’s job.Free agents such as Byron Leftwich, J.P. Losman and Patrick Ramsey are all being thrown around as possibilities but one possibility that is gaining steam would have the Bucs trading with the Browns for Derek Anderson.

Anderson has one of the strongest arms in the league as well as just about every physical tool you need to be a difference maker at his position. What he doesn’t have is a great understanding of defenses or the game’s nuances.With a little work and a bit of a push he could be developed into one of the game’s better quarterbacks and word is the Brown might take as little as a third-round pick for him.

When you consider that he’s younger than Luke McCown but has more experience than McCown it doesn’t sound like a bad option for the Bucs to consider, especially with Jeff Jagodzinski running the offense.Jagodzinski figures to be a little more aggressive than Jon Gruden was and Anderson would probably fit what he does well. Also, with Jagodzinski and Greg Olson tutoring him, Olson would likely max out on his potential.

********************************************************

Buccaneer Lori wants this trade! DA for a third rounder? Way to go, Browns fans! Shit, you should at least insist on a second. I think they will end up getting a second for DA. Last year, he played for a bad, bad team. Sorry, Browns fans, it isn't always the QB when your team blows. And that was the case last year.

No running game, a bad o-coordinator, a pathetic defense, a horrid GM, an average coach, and one of the worst WR groups in the league, but it's all DA's fault. I know you all want to run him out of town instead of trying to get the best deal for him. Brilliant, Browns nation.

Absolutely brilliant. Instead of trying to get a second or even late first rounder, you just want him gone. You people never disappoint in your raging stupidity.

Personally, I think the guy who wrote the article is full of shit. Mangini and Kokinis aren't idiot fans--they're proven NFL guys who don't react and act. They're going to wait and get the best deal for DA that they can--and that isn't some third rounder (at least not this early in the offseason). And if that means waiting until the draft gets close, so be it.

Just because their douche bag fan base is impatient doesn't mean that they have to be. I saw one post from a Detroit newspaper that just cracked me up. Lions fans were talking about trying to get DA. Opinion was mixed, though fairly warm towards the idea. And one idiot actually proposed that the Lions swap their top overall pick to the Browns in exchange for the Browns fifth overall pick, DA, and Cleveland's second rounder.

This just shows that idiots can get internet access. That would be the stupidest thing the Browns could do (and Mangini and Kokinis wouldn't do it of course). Typical fan thinking. Moron.

First, the trade is massively unfavorable for the Browns: They move up five spaces in exchange for a second rounder and DA? WTF? Then, nobody wants the top overall pick--the price is way too high. And a player the Browns want will be there at the fifth spot at a cheaper price (Aaron Curry, Malcom Jenkins....).

Finally, the Browns need MORE draft picks, not less. The asshole who posted that probably thinks that the Lions will go to the Super Bowl next year. Fucking 10 year-olds. This is what Madden has done to football fans: they think building a roster is like playing a fucking computer game.

Meanwhile, us Bucs fans are stuck with Luke McNown as our starter for now. Screw that! Luke McNown? Really, Tampa Bay? Really?

Good grief, offer Cleveland a 2nd and fifth rounder and GET DA NOW! Do you know how many teams will give DA a good look? KC, NYJ, Detroit and Carolina, will just to name a few. Then how about some wild cards like Seattle, SF, and St. Louis? All it takes is one other team to raise the bidding (that's an auction reference, Browns fans).

Or--oh geniuses that own and run the Bucs--do you think that Byron Leftwich, J.P. Losman, or Patrick Ramsey can provide something more? Suckwich, Loserman, and Ram-it-sey couldn't do the job in the past--on GOOD teams--and they won't do it now. In 2007, the Browns were pretty solid and DA lit it up. Last year, there were too many injuries and too little depth (well done, Phil Savage) for any QB to overcome.

Jon Kitna? No thank you very much. Gus Ferrotte? Shoot me. It's bad enough you fucked up and fired Gruden and replaced him with some d-backs coach who is all of 32. Don't compound the mistake by giving turning us into the Vikings--a great team with no good QB.

GET DEREK ANDERSON NOW!

(Originally posted 2-19-2009)