Yeah, Baby!

Buccaneer Lori pulled some serious ass double duty tonight!

Using my magical pirate powers, I flew between the Trop and Raymond James Stadium tonight, sprinkling "win dust" over each, and guaranteeing a super-special night for the greater Tampa area!

The Bucs defeated the 'Hawks and the Tampa Fucking Rays are going to the World Series!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It don't get better den dis!

Vince Naiomoli? Suck it, you bitch! Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk you! You kept this team in the gutter for years! Now that you're gone....they're winning. So suck on that, you cheap jackoff! Keeping our best prospects down in the minors just so they wouldn't reach arbitration too soon? WTF? And that's just the start with you. Up yours. Now the team has REAL owners.

Matt Garza? You are entitled to a Bucaneer Lori lap dance, baby!


(Originally posted 10-20-2008)

Thanks Rays. Thanks A Lot.

Last night, Shelly took me out to the Cold Stone Creamery for a treat. When we got there, we kissed for a bit. One thing led to another and she dared me to do a little self-pleasuring in the back of the parking lot. Soon, my finger was replaced by hers. Don't worry, I returned the favor.

I love car sex.

Yes. I am sex-crazed. I admit it. Wait....admit it? Proud of it. Sex is a good thing. A great thing. But it's not like it's always on my mind.

Can you believe the Browns Monday night performance? That's how they're capable of playing. Ryan was absolutely thrilled. He's a big Derek Anderson supporter, so that was definitely icing on the cake.

Thanks Rays. FUCK! Up 7-0 in the 7th inning and they can't hold them. Kazmir pitches great and the bullpen just fucks up everything. Fucking Ortiz was bad enough....but letting J.D. "Made Of Fucking Balsawood" Drew beat 'em?

FUCK times a million!

Shit Rays, get a fucking out. Watch Boston come and win the last two in Tampa. Fucking pisses me off. Just unbelievable. What a choke job. Rays fans could taste it.....and then CRASH! Nice error in the 9th, Evan! Good job!

I just hope that they can put this fiasco out of their minds and remember that they're up 3-2 in the series.

Speaking of pissed off, how'd you all like Yahoo deleting profiles like they did? No warning. Nothing. What bullshit. And the new blogging platform remains in limbo.

Nice job, Yahoo.

I need to vent.

I know you're up, boyfriend. Your phone better be on!

(originally posted 10-17-2008)

Buccaneer Lori Brings Home The W!

No, the lady pictured above isn't Buccaneer Lori (me, of course). I chatted with a wonderful young man last night. We were talking about hot playmates and he showed me several of his faves.

All yummy.

The lady above is my all-time favorite. She was the playmate for December 1977, and her name is Ashley Cox. When I was fifteen, I was raiding my older brother's stash of Playboys (I have no clue how he got such an old issue) and found this one. Totally fell in love. Had I any doubts about liking girls, Ashley squelched them. Okay, my first girlfriend squelched them (we only kissed....but are you fucking kidding me, awesome! Yeah!).

After her Playboy appearance, she got parts in a couple of movies (Logan's Run, Night Shift) and then gave up Hollywood and moved back to Texas. I don't know much of what's happened with her over the years, though. She just dropped out of site.
Anyway, BA, that's the Ashley I was talking about. And good luck with everything; you know what I mean!

Bucs time!

Tampa Bay 27, Carolina Kitties 3. That's right! Scat cats! Out! Shoo! Them kitty cats wanted to come in a claw up our field! Well, you were temporarily declawed today!

Oh, Seahawkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkssssssssssssssssssss? You're next! Step right up! Boyfriend gave me a scouting report on your possible starting QB, Charlie Frye. I've passed it along to my celebrity boyfriend, Jon "Yummy" Gruden.

4 and 2 now! Wooooohoooooo!

Tampa Bay Rays, beat dem Red Sox tomorrow! Go go go go go go go go! Tampa power! Solar powered, Carl Crawford-driven, baseball fever. Catch it!

No seriously guys. Win or I'll totally be pissed and throw a tantrum.

This is what makes being both a football fan and bi girl great......

That's it, Jon.....bring it baby! Give me a call whenever you want!

(Originally posted 10-13-2008)