Cleveland Fans, You Are What You Are....

And what you are is laughable! JUST LAUGHABLE!

As you know, my boyfriend's wife, Alex, is quite the Lakers fan. The Lakers are to her what the Bucs are to me.

That makes sense. Certain towns are basketball towns (Los Angeles), some are baseball towns (St. Louis, Chicago), and some are football towns (Pittsburgh, Green Bay).

Anyway, Alex adores her Lakers and has ever since she was a little kid. So she's talking to somebody in a chat room about the All-Star game yesterday and some Cleveland idiot PMs her with that played "Kobe's a ball hog" and "southern California fans are front-runners" crap.

Of course, Alex DESTROYS this loser with her response. Alex is like me: if you don't start the trash talk, she won't. But once it comes, put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye.

Finally, Cleveland Loser tucks his loser tail between his legs and shuffles off, no doubt to hump his Brady Quinn poster and kiss the picture of Bernie Kosar he has taped to his pillow.

Your girl BL hits a lot of the message boards of NFL teams. And one of the sites is a Browns "fan" site. And this is rich.

So right before the Seahawks were to play the Rams (my bf and his wife's fave team), the morons were talking about the Mangini firing (big mistake). One Seahawk fan was, very nicely, saying that patience would've been best served and the team should've kept EM.

Well, some douche bag Browns fan, who lives in Seattle but is originally from Cleveland, starts shitting on this Seahawk fan, who is a very respectful and knowledgeable poster. And it's the "your fan base sucks" routine that Browns Fan specializes in. Typical Cleveland loser talk.

You see, Browns Fan is an expert at running down other fan bases. It's what he does. And that's because it's all he has.

When LeBron went to Miami, it was "all those Miami fans are front runners". Whenever Kobe and the Lakers win anything, "all those LA fans are front runners." Oh, and get this: they call Steeler fans--STEELER FANS!--front runners. Yeah, supposedly those Steeler fans weren't interested in that team until the seventies.

ROLLING ON FLOOR LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF!

Yeah, Browns Fan, all the other fan basses are shit and aren't "hard core" like you fucking myopic twits. You're AWESOME!

Let's look at HOW awesome you are!

----When the Indians couldn't resign Manny Ramirez, Jim Thome and Omar Vizquel, those sell-outs at the Jake stopped immediately! Yeah, a coincidence, right?

----Before you landed LeBron, you couldn't give away seats to see a Never-Hava-Liers game!

----Funny how half of your "hard core" city is comprised of Steeler fans (talk about front running!).

----Yeah, you were so hard core that you sucked Brady Quinn's cock for three years! He was the next Joe Montana!

----And you were really hard core when you cheered Derek Anderson's blown-out knee. Yeah, THAT WAS AWESOME!

----You were so tough that when DA called you ruthless and said you didn't deserve a winner after he left, you all pissed down your legs and whined and cried. You shit on this guy for three years and then whine like little bitches when he fires back one time. Fucking crybabies!

----You were such a great fan base when Tim Couch was out on his ass with a nasty concussion one game and you cheered that! Class! Cool, our number one overall QB is injured! Yeah!

----Hey, that game against Jacksonville was awesome several years ago. You know, when you all started throwing beer bottles on the field after a call went against you! CLASSY!

----Funny how you hate the Steelers, but you sure as fuck don't mind selling your tickets to Steeler fans so they can take over your stadium every year!

----Speaking of, amazing how such loyal fans left during the Browns final game this season. Yeah, you hypocrites walked out on your team when it was being blown out by your most hated rival. Way to jump off a sinking ship, you losers. You turned your backs on your supposedly-beloved Browns when they needed you to stay, suck it up, and cheer for them the most. Some fans you are. Steeler fans would never let that happen in their own stadium, yet you did.

----Such a loyal fan base! You chase off coaches every three years and can't figure out why your team can't win.

----Eric Mangini took a bunch of castoffs, mediocre players, a rookie QB, and still posted big wins over the then-defending Super Bowl champion Saints and the NE Patriots. And almost posted a huge upset over the Jets. Yet you were glad to see the guy go instead of wanting to give him five years to build you a winner!

----In 2007, Derek Anderson guided the Browns to ten wins. Yet, you hated him. You hated a guy who threw for over 3,500 yards because he wasn't Brady Fucking Quinn. And you still hate DA. What miserable fans you truly are.

Hey, funny how you worshipped that joke of a GM, Phil Savage, yet ripped and ridiculed a good coach, Romeo Crennel. RAC was successful before Cleveland. RAC is now successful with the Kansas City Chiefs. Funny, the only place he wasn't successful was in Cleveland, where a hack GM who couldn't draft a fucking fantasy team was regarded as a genius. Where that loser GM constantly went after players RAC didn't want. Where that loser GM threw RAC under the bus during their final season there.

You sided with the hack GM. What a shock. Savage is now working for Philadelphia in a consulting capacity (he makes the coffee now). His drafts were a fucking joke.

This is the guy you thought was a genius.

So shut the fuck up, you hypocritical haters.

But here's the ultimate question for you guys to chew on. When Art Modell relocated the team to Baltimore, why didn't you just stay fans? Sure it would've been the "Baltimore Browns", but you would've had a winner. But no, you had to have your new team and spend the next 12 or so years chasing coaches and quarterbacks out of town. You could've made the six-hour drive down to Baltimore.

Those "front-runner" Los Angeles Rams fans stayed Rams fans after their team left. Those "front runner" LA fans who rooted for the Raiders actually still drive up to see Raiders games. And last I saw, driving from Los Angeles to Oakland is a lot farther than Cleveland to Baltimore.

But no. You had to throw the world's biggest tempy tantrum and get a team back immediately. Funny how you could get a new stadium built for the new team, and yet couldn't get one built for your previous one--the one you supposedly loved so much.

Remember the admonishment former Bengals coach Sam Wyche gave rowdy Bengals fans once: "We're not Cleveland."

And everyone in Cincinnati should be very, very grateful.

Cleveland, you can go back to burning LeBron jerseys and hating every other city. Really, it's the only thing you do well.

Well, that and whining for the Browns to only draft players from Ohio State University.

So Cleveland Sports Fan, who is really the lousiest fan base out there? Try looking in the mirror, you haters.